More Musings
Powered by Squarespace


Cable TV's finally hooked up! And high-speed net!

Homer Simpson was never such a welcome sight. Believe it or not, my mom was watching some spiritualism program that was airing around 2pm ... you gotta admit, US daytime TV sucks.

Mercifully, my DVR didn't lose its settings ... so here's to many more weeks of Stargate SG-1 marathons! And The Daily Show with Jon Stewart!

Nikhil called me last night for a quick (read 30 mins) game of Terrorist Hunt on Rainbow Six 3. I still got it ... a body count of 2:1 in my favor. Though I've got to try this team survival thing soon. Nikhil was telling me I've got to get upto speed on that in time for the next Rainbow Six installment ... August release I think.


A New Movie Award

Well, not new ... it's apparently been around since 1999. I heard about it on the latest edition of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

It's The Golden Trailer Awards. Apparently, these 2 people wanted to figure out who was the best at creating trailers, and then the whole thing snowballed into an awards show.

I think it's a good idea. The people who make the trailers are rarely - usually never - creditted in the trailer or in the movie. And those trailers are sometimes (unfortunately) the best parts of going to the movies! It's only fair we give them their dues, what?

Another nugget of info from Wait Wait - trailers are so named because they initially appeared after the main feature. And then studios realized that people were leaving, instead of sticking around to watch the trailers ... and so the trailers were moved in front of the feature presentation, and became previews!


How to Hunt Elephants

A golden oldie if I ever saw one ...


How to Hunt Elephants

Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.

Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate students.

Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A:

1. Go to Africa

2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope

3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the

continent alternately East and West.

4. During each traverse

a. Catch each animal seen

b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant

c. Stop when a match is detected.

Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.

Assembly level programmers will use Algorithm A, crawling on their hands and knees.

Engineers hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant.

Economists don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough they will hunt themselves.

Statisticians hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an elephant.

Consultants don't hunt elephants, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those who do.

Operations research consultants can measure the correlation of hat size and bullet color to the efficiency of elephant hunting strategies, if someone else will identify the elephants.

Politicians don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants you catch with the people who voted for them.

Lawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.

When the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, his staff will try to ensure that all elephants are completely prehunted before he sees them. If the VP sees a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence.

Senior managers set broad elephant hunting policies based on the assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper voices.

Quality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.

Salespeople don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens.

Software salespeople ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant.

Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint them gray and sell them as "desktop elephants."


Shifted Apartments

The move's over ... but no cable or high-speed Internet connection at home - hence no updates for the last few days. That situation should be remedied tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I'd managed to download a whole bunch of Spawn comics last week, and have been reading several every night.

Shockingly, I still haven't watched Harry Potter :-) but plan to go tonight. I'll probably pick up the Velvet Revolver CD today. The reviews have been pretty positive, and I was always a fan of GnR!

Mornings are a logistical nightmare in the apartment, cos Mom & Kartik are staying with me for a month (or two, in Kartik's case). Going to bed and getting ready for work involve moving a lot of suitcases back and forth to be able to get from one side of the studio to the other.


In Sports Today ...

Sigh. I remember when I used to watch NBA games. Good times, they was. I was ... er, am, a Kings fan. But it seems to me that the Kings are to the Lakers as South Africa are to Australia in cricket. Kings/SA teams will win all league matches and then choke in playoffs. While the Lakers/Aussies have variable successes in the league matches and then trounce everyone on the way to winning the tournament.

So ... Lakers/Pistons. I suppose we might as well have them on TV - I'm sure advertisers and networks have poured several millions into booking airtime. I say we need not bother - show us some replays instead. Or hold another All Stars tournament. Anything but the all-to-predictable Lakers wins.

In other news ... looks like we'll get to see local cricket on US television. Who knows, if we get exhibition matches from the country teams we might get to see world-class cricket without shelling out $150 for webcasts and without staying up to watch games that start at 1am.